Bachelor Pad.

For those of you who don't know, I am a shameless fan of the Bachelor and Bachelorette series (minus the most recent season with Ashley due to her combination of incessant squealing and fidgeting). Yes, I know that the show is most likely scripted and that the chances of the couple lasting are about one in fifteen, and I do believe that it has the propensity to give malleable young girls skewed views on "reality" (since most first dates don't involve private concerts or skydiving), but somehow I get sucked in season after season to watch the trains derail. And I hesitate to admit this, but I once even entertained the idea of an Oklahoma City casting call (under heavy pressure from my old LTB roommate), but discovered that my employment precluded me from doing so - a good snap back to actual reality. Nevertheless, I have compiled my top 10 observations for those of you who may have missed the 3-hour season premier. (Oh and enjoy, because this list is the closest thing to a recipe you will ever see on this blog, unless maybe it involves a shaker and some form of sugary rim!)

1. Casey is still talking about his heart and unable to form complete sentences. 
2. Vienna still has creepy eyes, now coupled with the worst haircut I have ever seen on national TV. 
3. Gia, you continue to set the bar for class on this show. Why do you keep coming back?
4. Erica is still sporting a tiara, despite the fact she is from a suburb of Houston, Texas.
5. How come they couldn't get Brad Womack on here? It's not like he has any pride left.
6. I still don't get why everyone refers to the wrestler as "rated R". It's weird.
7. Michelle "Money" (I question that being her actual name) appears to have toned it down.
8. I have a real hard time believing any of these people go on this show "for their child's sake" (i.e. Ella). At some point, do they not wonder if it will do more harm than good?
9. Jake, kudos to you. Your performance tonight reinstated you as the Bachelor tool of all time. 
10. And seriously... where is Craig R.?

That's all for tonight. Now onto Words with Friends.